I just wanted to check in with you guys, since this blog apparently has become an accidental niche site for people seeking information on labyrinths, Dionysus, suicide, and dreams about eating family members. Have I mentioned how much I love that I can see the search terms that bring people to this blog? Whoever found me via “dionysus god of wtf”, you are my new best friend. That is one of the most apt descriptions I have read, yet.
So, I am still alive. I got a temporary gig that had me on my feet about 30 times more than I am used to. The job was for the month of October, but since I have chronic pain issues as well as a lot of other issues in general, it took me the bulk of November to recover. This delayed my yearly Month of Suck, moving it from November to this month.
My focus has been a lot more on trying to figure out ways to keep myself afloat financially, as well as refocusing on artwork, and healing. I have been doing a lot of personal work dealing with accepting and trying to work through my past (I had a rough childhood) and coming to terms with the fact that I will in all likelihood be spending the rest of my life in pain. Spiritwork has been existent, but quieter.
And I do not know how to write anymore. I feel like I lost focus with this blog, and am not sure how to pick it back up. I do not know what to talk about, or what to say. Everything on here has been extremely personal, but I have been fluctuating from emotional numbness to overloaded, so I am not sure how to communicate like I did before. And then, there is still the problem of not really knowing where to start. So much of this has become so natural to me, I do not think about needing to step back and explain it.
Part of me wants to backtrack and talk about slightly less personal things. Talk as if I am a normal pagan. The other part of me realizes that I have already let the cat out of the bag about who I believe I am, and that nothing about me is “normal”.
I am throwing in the towel on PBP 2013. I may or may not pick it up for 2014. I have other projects and blogs I want to continue work on. I know for a fact that I will continue this blog later on down the line. Reviving bits of the Minoan religion is not really an option for me, but something that is going to happen regardless. So this blog will remain open; I will keep checking in on it, replying to comments, answering e-mails and the like. But new posts may be a while coming.
So, to my readers and accidental stumblers-upon, I wish you a warm holiday season, and a bright start to the new year!