I know this is probably a off-question to this blog post but I was wondering how you gained respect in the otherkin community regarding your kin-type? As a god-kin I tend to lurk in a variety of otherkin groups and I tend to see them bashing the term constantly. I want to be more open and involved in the community but I am afraid that I will be constantly put down because of my kin-type… How do I approach the subject first jumping into the community and what should I add in my intro post besides the fact that I am god-kin? I really hope you can help me with this! The last thing I want is a explosion of drama.
A reader recently sent me this question, and I figured it might be an answer other people who stumble on my blog are interested in! So, hello, dear reader! If you want to talk more one on one about this (or anything, really), you can leave a comment here with contact information (e-mail, gchat, Skype, Tumblr, etc.). I won’t publish the comment, kind of like I’m keeping your name off here, for your privacy.
Honestly, I’m not sure how much respect I have in the Otherkin community. As I’ve mentioned on this blog, I used to be in the clique of Otherkin Alliance before it collapsed. I got close to people there because our UPGs overlapped so much, and we got along well. But bad things happened and I left the forums, and mostly stayed out of the community for a couple of years.
Creating this blog was my first venture back out. I’ve gotten good feedback from people privately, both from pagans, and from otherkin. I’ve also seen my blog mocked on Tumblr at least once. I actually recently started blogging on Tumblr (as in, this month), and my reception there has also been overall good.
There will always be haters. Always. In the past, I was banned from communities solely for my kintype, before they even knew me. Me just being me can spark drama. Because let’s face it: our community as a whole is pretty messed up when it comes to both external and internal drama. And this can be said of a lot of communities.
The only way to win, is not to play the game.
Your fears of being ridiculed and put down for being godkin are understandable. I will tell you now, I’ve definitely had my two cents regarding the term “godkin”. (I’m okay using ‘Otherkin’, but terms like “godkin”, “deitykin”, etc. annoy me since I think they’re generally superfluous and there are other terms in existence for the concept, since it’s thousands of years old).
I can really only guess at why I haven’t had people dogpile on me for being an incarnate deity:
1) I don’t think I have that much exposure on this blog, and people aren’t as quick to send hate mail here as they are on sites like Tumblr. (Which I haven’t gotten any otherkin-related hate on there yet, either).
2) I speak in coherent sentences with decent grammar. Seriously. This goes a very long way. I don’t even know you, and I already have respect for you just because of how you presented yourself.
3) Presentation matters. A lot. Talking openly and honestly about what you believe and why will get you more respect than just flat-out stating who you believe yourself to be. That’s why I have a lengthy about page on here. Talk about being human, too. Talk about your story, how you got from point A to point B. Talk about hobbies, and likes, and basically show the complex person you are. I feel like a lot of the knee-jerk hate based on kintype is less about the actual kintype, and more about how you come across. I have friends well-established in the community, who say they base their judgments on this.
4) I don’t put up with BS. I like being helpful, however I can. I see others who are incarnate deities, or angels, or various other types of otherkin kind of like an extended family. But I don’t tolerate assholes, and I don’t coddle people. I will call people out. And I won’t let them chase me off.
5) Who you claim to be can also influence things. As Bri, barely anyone has ever heard of me, so I’m not stepping on many toes. But someone claiming a bigger name is more likely to get attention. My identity is more complex than what this particular blog is about, and one of my other names is more well-known. I’ve definitely gotten more attention for that one.
I think the main advice I can give you, is to work on letting go of your fear of rejection or drama. Because those things are, unfortunately, inevitable. You can be hurt by it, and you can be afraid. But you can’t let those things hold you back from expressing yourself.
Besides, it’s through little flares of drama and whatnot, that I’ve learned where I actually stand with my friends, and it’s how I’ve developed my inner circle who have been invaluable to me.
So. I haven’t slept much at all lately because I’m working on a tight deadline for something. Which means I’m not entirely sure I’m being coherent at all. I hope I am, and I hope this helps you! And anyone else who stumbles upon it. ❤
I like this a lot. The best part is how you’ve pointed out that how we present ourselves to the greater community is very important. We are all trying to fit the pieces together some how. I’m not ashamed of being my kin type (I also identify as an incarnate deity, and I wish their was a better word for it). I agree that there will always be haters. But respect for ourselves and respect towards other is definitely key. And so is proper grammar 🙂
Whoops, I meant *others. Irony at its best. I’m going to laugh about this.