I first joined the otherkin community around five years ago, although I had heard of it a couple of years prior. By “joined”, I mean I signed up and attended to one forum only, then fell out of that and stuck with my close circle of like-minded friends. I have never been very good at communities. This is because I was never really good with people. It is not that I am unlikable, or so I have been told, I just never really got the hang of forging lasting connections with others.
But that is changing, as I have been changing. I think it worked out for the better, for me, coming at everything from a more isolated framework, but that time has passed. I can be pretty stubborn and headstrong, and did not know how to bend or compromise, but I have learned how to do that a bit more.
And so this blog, for me, is a coming out of the shadows. It is not joining an established forum or group, but it is very much about reaching out and laying my cards on the table. I am a fairly transparent person, and a godawful liar. I am very emotional, and expressive, and can bottle things up inside myself for a whole of five minutes before it starts to make me ill. I just do not do well unless I am being open and authentic, even if that does leave me vulnerable.
Which is why I am writing this post now, to explain a little bit more from my “About Me” page, as a precursor to tomorrow’s Pagan Blog Project post, and to make my status and views clear regarding the only community I have been remotely active in for the past half-decade.
Technically, I am an “otherkin”, and more specifically, a “godkin”. The definition for otherkin can vary depending on who you ask, but in general it applies to someone who believes themselves to be, on some level, not human. How that plays out for me personally is that I do not believe my spirit or soul to be human. Physically, I am pretty much just like everyone else; I bleed if hurt, I get sick, I have to eat, and breathe, and drink, and sleep. I have a life, I have bills, I have to do the dishes, and take out the trash. But my sense of identity is not human.
There are many, many different kinds of otherkin, ranging from earthly animals such as wolves and cats, to mythical creatures such as dragons and angels. Often how the community works is one takes what they identify as and tack on the word “-kin” to denote their “kintype”: wolfkin, dragonkin, angelkin. For me, that would be “godkin”, because I believe my soul to be that of a goddess.
However, you will not find me using that term to relate to myself. I think the word “otherkin” in general can be a useful label, as far as labels go. But even in that community, I feel on the outskirts and cannot relate to a lot of the members. I also find that labels are terribly limiting things full of baggage, and that by linking myself just now to that community in any fashion, I will lose face with some people solely because the community as a whole is not looked highly upon.
One of the primary reasons I am not fond of the term “godkin” other than I feel it sounds a little gaudy (pun so not intended…mostly), is that there are already good expressions that exist for the concept, which has existed off and on throughout all recorded history, my favorite being incarnate goddess. Ruling leaders used to be seen as gods even through Roman times. In some cultures, high priests and priestesses were believed to be such as well. In Hinduism, the whole concept of “avatars”, while pretty unique to that religion, hearkens back to this similar belief of deity made flesh. Even the current predominant religion of the world is based upon the tenant of God being born as a flesh-and-bone human.
How I came to believe that I am a goddess and what that even means for me, is something I will explore in future posts. And although I do not fully embrace the terms otherkin and godkin, I do intend to stay active in that community to the small extent that I already am. If anyone else finds themselves in a similar situation to me, it is my hope introducing these labels might help them find community and realize they are not alone, as well as to help provide context for my writings.
As always, I welcome any and all questions!